New York – In a stunning reversal of policy, the Women’s National Basketball Association has announced that it will no longer openly market its sport to lesbians, in favor of a new marketing campaign designed to target Persian men.
Val Ackerman, WNBA President, said the move was imminent. “We’re gravitating toward a fan-base that is most natural to our sport.” Playing down the League’s obvious miff of its thousands of lesbian fans, Ackerman added, “We have nothing against lesbians. Unfortunately, our new demographic might.”
In addition to advertising on various Iranian stations around the country, WNBA teams will begin featuring products like abgousht and halva at their snack bars, as well as special promotions like the upcoming “Carpet Weaving Night” in Houston. The league also announced that it will begin to telecast all its games in Farsi and Arabic, and is even looking to place a franchise in the Iranian city of Shiraz.
Today’s news reverberated quickly in the Persian community, from Los Angeles to Tehran. “I have seen this (LA Sparks center) Lisa Leslie. She has legs like a camel,” observed Mahmoud Kharazmi, publisher of Hafteh Bazaar in Los Angeles. Iranian President Mohammad Khatami found the notion of an Iranian franchise curious. “How can they score baskets with a veil covering their faces?”
The lesbian community expressed immediate outrage at the decision. “What are we supposed to do now for premium quality lesbian entertainment?” questioned Sergeant Erin O’Reilly of the Gay Officers Action League in New York, who had gathered with friends to watch the season finale of “Xena: Warrior Princess.” Chastity Bono, of Houston’s Lesbians in Business, added, “When I first heard about the Carpet Weaving Night, I thought it was a great idea. Obviously, I misunderstood.”
The WNBA fell into controversy two years ago, when the Los Angeles Sparks announced they were openly marketing toward lesbians. Other WNBA teams, namely the Seattle Storm and the Miami Sol, soon followed. Today’s announcement clearly spurns that trend. To further its efforts at luring the new demographic, the WNBA later announced that it was changing its moniker to “We Got Baghali!”
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