New York – In a stunning reversal of policy, the Women’s National Basketball Association has announced that it will no longer openly market its sport to lesbians, in favor of a new marketing campaign designed to target Persian men.
“Skynyrd Fan Discovers Lost 10th Amendment”
Washington, D.C. - One day after the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Justin Appleby, a Toledo man who sued the State of Ohio over a defective scratch-off lottery ticket, a prominent Constitutional historian and Lynyrd Skynyrd fan has discovered a previously unknown 10th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
Washington, D.C. - One day after the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Justin Appleby, a Toledo man who sued the State of Ohio over a defective scratch-off lottery ticket, a prominent Constitutional historian and Lynyrd Skynyrd fan has discovered a previously unknown 10th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
“Nirvana Reunites With Christopher Cross as Front Man”
Seattle - The suicide of Kurt Cobain in the spring of 1994 signified not only the end of the world’s biggest rock band, but also put the exclamation point on one of the most tumultuous movements in pop music history. Nine years after Cobain’s death, a new era is being ushered in with today’s landmark announcement that Nirvana is reuniting, with Adult Contemporary bad boy Christopher Cross as the man to replace Cobain.
Seattle - The suicide of Kurt Cobain in the spring of 1994 signified not only the end of the world’s biggest rock band, but also put the exclamation point on one of the most tumultuous movements in pop music history. Nine years after Cobain’s death, a new era is being ushered in with today’s landmark announcement that Nirvana is reuniting, with Adult Contemporary bad boy Christopher Cross as the man to replace Cobain.
“Casey Martin Ruling Paves the Way for NBA’s First Dwarf”
Los Angeles – Reaching his adult height of 3’10”, Lincoln, Nebraska native Billy Hobart never dreamed of being a force in the National Basketball Association. But now, with the recent Supreme Court ruling that allows handicapped Pro Golfer Casey Martin to use a golf cart, the stage is set for the NBA’s first dwarf.
Los Angeles – Reaching his adult height of 3’10”, Lincoln, Nebraska native Billy Hobart never dreamed of being a force in the National Basketball Association. But now, with the recent Supreme Court ruling that allows handicapped Pro Golfer Casey Martin to use a golf cart, the stage is set for the NBA’s first dwarf.
“Bush Acclimates to Europe: Hasn’t Bathed in Weeks”
Marseilles, France – President George Bush is acclimating comfortably to European culture in his first trip across the Atlantic since becoming Commander-in-Chief. In addition to limiting his bathing habits to once or twice a month, Bush is said to have taken up smoking, is drinking voluminous amounts of wine, and complaining about American culture.
Marseilles, France – President George Bush is acclimating comfortably to European culture in his first trip across the Atlantic since becoming Commander-in-Chief. In addition to limiting his bathing habits to once or twice a month, Bush is said to have taken up smoking, is drinking voluminous amounts of wine, and complaining about American culture.
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